Black men and women dating questions
It was okay for their brothers to date white girls, but they were told as girls "don't bring home a white boy". The legacy of mistreatment of black women by white men holds a strong imprint.
But this message, much as it as meant to protect, does suggest that black women don't have the same choice as black men.
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If you're upset about someone else's relationship, it really just means you have something to work on inside!
_______________________ Woodbridge: How is it that black women feel wrong for considering white men, but black men don't feel the same way if they have a white woman? Karyn Folan: Hi Woodbridge, I certainly can't speak for black men, but several of the women I interviewed spoke to a double standard in their families.
I think a lot of those resentments stem from insecurities about our value-- and as I well know, we ALL have to work on that. Acknowledge your feelings, and then try to understand where they come from.
As you might expect, the experiences of these children are as different as the individual kids themselves.I also think, however, that the black community RELIES on black women.And there's a perception that there will be real problems if too many black women date or marry outside of it.But I also think there is something to be said about the way in which gender, stereotypes and our nation's history (where black boys were lynched for looking at white women) has impacted the makeup of black/white relationships. There were actually quite a few women I interviewed for Don't Bring Home A White Boy who expressed your exact sentiments: they resented black men with white wives.I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and thank you for sharing your work! However, for most of them, once they were in a serious relationship of their own, they found themselves to be far less concerned with what black men were doing.
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